our first year

This year I realized that having a baby is a bit like a baptism – the old me is gone, and I am made new.

My body alone tells a story of what this year held. What the world picked apart and called imperfect has been restored and made whole again. My self-worth was brought back to life with the life of this tiny one. My skin shows wrinkles and wear more than before – maybe it’s something to do with hormones, or maybe it’s that I’m smiling and laughing more than I have before. My hips have taken a new shape and width – something that serves as a constant visual that my tiny one traveled a great journey to be here.

There were a lot of times this year when I was consumed by guilt… guilt that I wasn’t soaking it all in enough, that I was too distracted by a to-do list; guilt that I wasn’t giving enough attention to my husband or that I was lashing out, even when he was going above and beyond for me; guilt that I wasn’t doing it “right” (critical people be damned); guilt that Elliott was being ignored; guilt that our house was in shambles because I just wanted 5 minutes to zone out to the tv instead of cleaning the desperately-in-need bathrooms.

I also felt guilt in our adjustment to life as a family of three – this adjustment took time, and I didn’t think it would. Even though it appeared to happen in an instant, it actually took weeks, maybe even months. This little person came to us with big needs, and while it was sometimes a difficult transition, it was a beautiful one. Today, we look at each other knowing that life is better now than ever.

Watching her grow so quickly broke my heart this year, but I think that’s the mark of a momma – a heart that is permanently broken, albeit stitched back together however haphazardly. I’m crushed by the weight of the sadness I feel while watching her change and grow and become more kid than baby, but I’m also being crushed by the joy and overwhelming happiness I get from experiencing all of this take place.

It didn’t take long before I learned to ignore almost all of the advice… by the way, sleeping through the night is not the mark of good parenting. We swim in the sweetness of rocking her to sleep (we have since day one), doing so until she drifts far into her dreams. We know putting her in her bed signals the end of the day and that she will wake up a different, changed baby each and every morning. She grew so fast this year, so we hold her for as long as we can, knowing one day will be the last day that she needs us to do that.

Our first year was one we will hold onto forever. It was our first year as parents, our first year with Winnie, and our first year truly understanding love and grace. We loved this first year, but I have a feeling that we are going to love every year for the rest of our lives together.

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instagram

  • Friday the 13th got me like 😎
I’m just excited it’s the weekend. 🙌🏻 I’ve got fun plans to help shower this girl and celebrate the fact that sheeee’s gettin’ marrrrrieeeed! 💍🎉💖 what are your weekend plans? better yet, what are your “mom’s-night-out” recovery tips for the next day because this momma is for sure going to need them. 😳🙈😂
  • I love shooting seniors. 🙌🏻 For years, it wasn’t something I made time for, and for years, I WAS MISSING OUT. 😫 I’ve recently added senior sessions to my regularly available services, and sessions like this one are why.
Katelyn’s senior session is on my blog. Hands-down, it’s one of my favorites. ♥️
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#meaganwhitephoto  #louisiville #seniors2018 #photographer #louisvillephotographer #seniorpictures  #seniorphotos #seniorphotographer #southernindiana #seniorologie #seniorstyleguide #modernsenior
  • a lot of my friends do “Friday introductions,” but I think I’m feeling “Wednesday with [one of] the Whites” ... 🤔😆
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here are 3 things that probably tell you all there is to know about me and also happen to be 3 things you didn’t ask to know 🤓
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• I call my style “eclectic,” but really I’m just a sucker for a clearance sticker and can make anything work for the right price 💰🛒
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• I would probably dislocate a shoulder or break my fingers before making multiple trips to get the groceries from the car 🤷🏼‍♀️🙈
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• sometimes we throw away perfect tupperware to avoid emptying whatever leftovers are still inside 😳
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what are 3 things I don’t know about you? share at least 1 in the comments, I think this will be fun! 👏🏻
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#meaganwhitephoto #louisville #photographer #louisvillephotographer #lifestylephotography
  • I am failing at instagram. I can’t make the algorithm work for me, and it’s making me bananas. 🍌🤪 Less than than half of my amazing and wonderful followers are seeing anything I post, literally (I’ve checked the provided insights, and only a handful of images have reached half or more of you for at least 6 months).
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I’m not upset, but I am frustrated because this is how I market my business. I knew changing how I used social media would affect my reach, but this result makes it difficult to be encouraged to use the app at all. 👎🏻
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I know I could do things differently, I could sit online all day, I could spend hours interacting with posts and increasing my engagement, I could work really hard to be seen on here. I could play the @instagram game better. 🙄 
But why? Why would I do any of that? I want to market here, but not at the expense of it becoming an actual part-time, unpaid gig. I want to use this platform as a way to share my work and my life, but I value my time being unplugged and with my family over the increased exposure on here.
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So, for now, I’ll just keep sharing hoping that the 25-30% of you who do see it will love it and appreciate it. 🤷🏼‍♀️ At the risk of sounding like every other account that is dealing with a similar plight, I do have a small request - if you can see my posts, it would just be the greatest if you would like them/comment on them so that I know who’s here. 🙏🏻😚
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#birth #birthphotography #birthphotographer #meaganwhitephoto #louisvillephotographer #louisvillebirthphotographer #fresh48session #newborn #fresh48photographer #fresh48 #louisvillenewbornphotographer #lifestylephotographer #newbornphotographer #lifestylephotography
  • in case you missed it (which is entirely possible thanks to algorithms 😫), the coziest newborn session is on my blog, and it is definitely a favorite. ♥️
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#birth #birthphotography #birthphotographer #meaganwhitephoto #louisvillephotographer #louisvillebirthphotographer #fresh48session #newborn #fresh48photographer #fresh48 #louisvillenewbornphotographer #lifestylephotographer #newbornphotographer #lifestylephotography #lifestylenewborn
  • life with a newborn is something that is so worthy of documenting... I’m so thankful for every family that asks me to do this for them. ♥️ this sweet session is on my blog this morning, and these photos are some of my favorites. (zoom in to see)
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#birth #birthphotography #birthphotographer #meaganwhitephoto #louisvillephotographer #louisvillebirthphotographer #fresh48session #newborn #fresh48photographer #fresh48 #louisvillenewbornphotographer #lifestylephotographer #newbornphotographer #lifestylephotography